Want to learn a lesson the hard way?

THE LESSON

by ROGER McGOUGH

Chaos ruled OK in the classroom

as bravely the teacher walked in

the nooligans ignored him

His voice was lost in the din

‘The theme for today is violence

and homework will be set

I’m going to teach you a lesson

one that you’ll never forget’

He picked on a boy who was shouting

and throttled him then and there

then the girl behind him

(the one with grotty hair)

Then sword in hand he hacked his way

between the chattering rows

‘First come, first severed ’ he declared

‘fingers, feet or toes’

He threw the sword at a latecomer

it struck with deadly aim

then pulling out a shotgun

he continued with his game

The first blast cleared the backrow

(where those who skive hang out)

they collapsed like rubber dinghies

when the plugs pulled out